Beginning a Journey

The beginning of my weight loss journey

Most of my life I have NOT been fat.  I'm tall- 5'9"- and my family genetics have given me a larger bone structure, so I have never been an itty-bitty thing, but in general I've been a healthy weight for my body type.
In High School I was a swimmer and so I was never fat.  In fact, I couldn't seem to eat enough to satisfy my appetite.  I ate a lot but never had a problem with my weight because of the swimming.  I hovered between 115-135 lbs during my four years in High School and I was happy at that weight.  I remember going to a doctor my junior year to get an annual physical and she said that for my height and bone structure my healthy weight should be somewhere between 140-175, with 175 being on the you-better-start-losing-a-few-pounds end.  Suffice it to say, my weight wasn't an issue.
Yes, after High School ended I put on some weight because I wasn't swimming anywhere near as much as I was when I was competing.  I suddenly grew boobs (my friends in HS used to tease me that I was jealous of a wall because I was so flat) and curves.  But I was never concerned.  I stayed within my healthy range and so I didn't worry about it a lot.
Then when I turned 20 I took a year off of college to work so that I could save money to serve a mission for my church.  I worked a lot and hung out with friends and the weight started creeping up on me.  For the first time in my life, my weight went over 200 lbs.  I about died because I was so mortified.  I didn't do anything about it though because I didn't look obese.  Because I'm tall, I have a lot of places to tuck the extra weight and so I didn't really let it bother me after awhile.  When I left for the Amazon Jungle in November of 2002, I weighed about 215.  I knew I was overweight but I told myself it wasn't that bad.  By the time I came home in June of 2004, I was back in my healthy range.  Excessive walking and constant sweating for 18 months will make anyone lose weight.
Over the next four years, I slowly creeped back up to about 215 and stayed there.  Again, I didn't look really fat- I just looked like someone who could stand to lose a few.

(I realize this isn't the best picture but it's the best I could find for the purpose I needed.  I'm in the black at the bottom with the glasses and long hair)

Then I got married and was put on birth control.  The doctor told me it wouldn't cause weight gain, but I found that for the four months while I was taking it, I couldn't stop eating.  I never felt full.  I finally researched the stuff I was taking and while it didn't say that it would cause weight gain, it did say that it could cause a "change in appetite".  Change was an understatement.  I was eating all the time and couldn't stop.  I finally quit taking the stuff but by that time the damage was done.  I had already gained a significant amount of weight and my hormones were all messed up.  In fact, I gained so much weight so quickly that my stomach looks like a war zone from all of the stretch marks that I never thought I'd have until I was pregnant. In hindsight I wish I would have researched birth control more- I probably never would have taken it in the first place.  It's now been three years since I've been married and I'm fat.  No, I won't say how much I weigh because I'm too embarrassed by it.  But here's a picture that was taken earlier this year.

I look awful (isn't my niece, Madi, cute though?). I avoid mirrors that show anything below the neck.  I avoid pictures like the plague.  I hate, HATE to go shopping because I don't want to buy "fat" clothes.  I don't like the feeling of being short of breath all the time.  I sleep poorly and wake up constantly during the night to find a more comfortable position.  Worst of all, I can't get pregnant.  I went to a homeopathic fertility specialist and she said my hormones were way out of balance and that I needed to lose weight, among other things, to get them back in control.  Until then, I probably don't have a chance of getting pregnant.

So here I sit, on August 28, 2012, ready to start.  I've been planning and preparing for this over the last few months so that I have a better chance of success.  I have a diet plan, a workout plan, and a lot of motivation.  One of the reasons that I'm doing this blog is to be able to keep a record of my journey.  Maybe I can motivate someone else, or I can find motivation in words of encouragement from those who have taken or are currently on this journey. 
Thoughts, comments, and tips will be greatly appreciated.  I will try to keep a frequent record with pictures, successes, and struggles so that I can come out on top!