Most of my life I have NOT been fat. I'm tall- 5'9"- and my family genetics have given me a larger bone structure, so I have never been an itty-bitty thing, but in general I've been a healthy weight for my body type.
In High School I was a swimmer and so I was never fat. In fact, I couldn't seem to eat enough to satisfy my appetite. I ate a lot but never had a problem with my weight because of the swimming. I hovered between 115-135 lbs during my four years in High School and I was happy at that weight. I remember going to a doctor my junior year to get an annual physical and she said that for my height and bone structure my healthy weight should be somewhere between 140-175, with 175 being on the you-better-start-losing-a-few-pounds end. Suffice it to say, my weight wasn't an issue.
Yes, after High School ended I put on some weight because I wasn't swimming anywhere near as much as I was when I was competing. I suddenly grew boobs (my friends in HS used to tease me that I was jealous of a wall because I was so flat) and curves. But I was never concerned. I stayed within my healthy range and so I didn't worry about it a lot.
Then when I turned 20 I took a year off of college to work so that I could save money to serve a mission for my church. I worked a lot and hung out with friends and the weight started creeping up on me. For the first time in my life, my weight went over 200 lbs. I about died because I was so mortified. I didn't do anything about it though because I didn't look obese. Because I'm tall, I have a lot of places to tuck the extra weight and so I didn't really let it bother me after awhile. When I left for the Amazon Jungle in November of 2002, I weighed about 215. I knew I was overweight but I told myself it wasn't that bad. By the time I came home in June of 2004, I was back in my healthy range. Excessive walking and constant sweating for 18 months will make anyone lose weight.
Over the next four years, I slowly creeped back up to about 215 and stayed there. Again, I didn't look really fat- I just looked like someone who could stand to lose a few.
Then I got married and was put on birth control. The doctor told me it wouldn't cause weight gain, but I found that for the four months while I was taking it, I couldn't stop eating. I never felt full. I finally researched the stuff I was taking and while it didn't say that it would cause weight gain, it did say that it could cause a "change in appetite". Change was an understatement. I was eating all the time and couldn't stop. I finally quit taking the stuff but by that time the damage was done. I had already gained a significant amount of weight and my hormones were all messed up. In fact, I gained so much weight so quickly that my stomach looks like a war zone from all of the stretch marks that I never thought I'd have until I was pregnant. In hindsight I wish I would have researched birth control more- I probably never would have taken it in the first place. It's now been three years since I've been married and I'm fat. No, I won't say how much I weigh because I'm too embarrassed by it. But here's a picture that was taken earlier this year.
I look awful (isn't my niece, Madi, cute though?). I avoid mirrors that show anything below the neck. I avoid pictures like the plague. I hate, HATE to go shopping because I don't want to buy "fat" clothes. I don't like the feeling of being short of breath all the time. I sleep poorly and wake up constantly during the night to find a more comfortable position. Worst of all, I can't get pregnant. I went to a homeopathic fertility specialist and she said my hormones were way out of balance and that I needed to lose weight, among other things, to get them back in control. Until then, I probably don't have a chance of getting pregnant.
So here I sit, on August 28, 2012, ready to start. I've been planning and preparing for this over the last few months so that I have a better chance of success. I have a diet plan, a workout plan, and a lot of motivation. One of the reasons that I'm doing this blog is to be able to keep a record of my journey. Maybe I can motivate someone else, or I can find motivation in words of encouragement from those who have taken or are currently on this journey.
Thoughts, comments, and tips will be greatly appreciated. I will try to keep a frequent record with pictures, successes, and struggles so that I can come out on top!
